Selfless Service

This past Saturday, the boy’s basketball team traveled to the Woodlands for scrimmage. It was a morning scrimmage, and it ended about noon. As we were traveling back to Houston we stopped at a combination Taco Bell/Long John’s Silver for lunch. While we were waiting in line to order, I watched as an older gentleman attempted to carry two cups full of soda, napkins, and utensils to his table for him and his wife. I had a feeling it was going to be a long trip from the soda fountain to his table, and I was right. Just as he got to the table he spilled one cup of soda all over the floor and himself. He set down the other cup and proceeded to go back and get napkins to clean up the mess, but before he could back our student assistant Junel was already on the floor cleaning up the mess. It was an awesome site of servant hood, but the weird part was the reaction of the man. When the man got back to the table, he was not appreciative, he was almost scolding. He said to Junel, “I was getting napkins, I would have done that.” Then he left Junel with a, “Thanks.” I went through a few reactions in my head to this situation, and I want to share a couple.
My first reaction was-that is surprising. A young man took the time to help you and that is the best thanks you could give him. My second reaction was-I am not surprised. We have become more selfish than ever, and more skeptical than ever. Why would someone help me, they have to be wanting something in return. My third reaction was-Junel is awesome. Now this should have been my only reaction. I was more concerned with the man’s response than Junel. Junel literally did a selfless act, with no concern of the reward or praise. Junel modeled servant leadership. He did not grumble or respond negatively to the man’s lack of gratitude. I believe Junel was not burned by it causing him to stop helping others because of the lack of acknowledgement. I know many others, myself included that have become hardened from serving without being acknowledged. I have said things like, “I will never help him again because he wasn’t appreciative, or he didn’t help me.” It is embarrassing to admit, but that’s me- maybe I can learn from Junel. I can learn to serve without concern for the reward. Junel is my friend and my hero.

Heartbroken and Convicted

What does mean to be convicted? What is real heart break? I have been studying the book of Nehemiah and it has caused me to really think about these two questions.
I can remember the first time I felt what I thought was heart break. I was in the 11th grade and I had planned a date with one of the best looking, most popular girls in my high school. It was the girl who I would only look at from a far through middle school. She was the pinnacle on the ladder of popularity. She was a cheerleader and she drove a black IROC-Z, it was fast. When you entered into her circle you could officially be considered “in”. It started this way, one of my friends was dating her friend and he stopped me in the hall one day and said you know “Sarah” wants to go out with you. *(name changed to protect her and me) I was always known to be a jokester, but this was cruel. He convinced me he was serious, and I was encouraged to ask her out. This is a girl I have known my whole life, and up to this point the only conversation we have had was , “hello” and “good-bye.” How am I going to ask her out? My friend saves me and we decide we will just meet her and her friend on Friday. We meet them on Friday and the date was a great success or so I thought. We held hands! I left the date convinced she was the one, we were going to get married, and life was going to be great. I walked down the hall a little differently on Monday, I believe I had the same feeling Superman must get when he is Clark Kent going into the phone booth and Superman coming out. Classmates were staring at me for different reasons now. I had arrived, I was in, I scaled Everest, I was the FONZ, I was KNIGHT RIDER! We set up another date, we were going to meet next Saturday at a local hang-out and go out on a solo date from there. I should have known something was fishy, we she talked me out of picking her up at her house; she was going to meet me instead. No big deal-we are in love, I am in love. We were set to meet at 8:30pm. I was there at 7:30pm, I did not want to miss her. 8:30 came and went. We did not have cell phones so the only way to communicate was by pay phone. I waited in the same spot until-10:00pm, maybe she got lost. (I live in a town of 7000, and 1 main street-you don’t get lost) I called her house and 10:00pm, her sister answered (her comes the heart break); when I told her sister who I was, her response was “who” and “why are you calling our house?” Let me remind you I have known them all my life. I asked for Sarah and the response sent me to my knees-“she is out on a date.” I thought know because I am here and she is not, and then I put the pieces together. It like a scene in a bad chick flick, I dropped the phone, as it began to rain, and I wept, with the rain drowning out my tears. Not really it was spring, and I dropped the phone, and looked to see if anyone was watching, and then ran to my car. I was embarrassed. I was heartbroken. How would I ever recover? I can’t go to school ever again. As quickly as I was in, I was out.
Believe it or not-I recovered. I recovered quickly. I moved on fast, mostly because the faster it was behind me the quicker others would forget. Sarah and never spoke about it, or ever spoke again for that matter. I thought I was heartbroken, until I read about Nehemiah. When Nehemiah heard about his people and Jerusalem, he was heartbroken-He feel to his knees, he prayed, he mourned, he fasted. I did nothing like that. Nehemiah prayed to God, and then become convicted to do something about it. He mourned , prayed and fasted-but he went to work-he was convicted. He was so convicted that he took on a seemingly impossible task. The job of rebuilding the wall was a task in itself, not to mention all those who worked against him. He was so convicted he worked through the threats, and the ridicule. Nehemiah did not stand by and watch-he worked. He worked to restore God’s glory in his people. I love Nehemiah. I love God.
As I read Nehemiah, I ask myself am I so heart broken when I do something or see something contrary to God’s word and God’s glory. I would hope I would be as heartbroken as Nehemiah. I also hope I would be convicted to restore God’s glory. I hope I would stand up for God and the things God wants for me. I hope.

My BFF (best friend forever)

Why is it that while you are going through the high school years you can't wait for them to be over and leave the house, but almost 20 years later you find yourself remembering what was one of the most memorable times in your life and you wish you could go back and do it again?

It is high school football season. The other day as our cheerleaders were preparing for the next pep rally I found my mind drifting back to my high school days. As I sat and watched, in my mind's eye I could see the faces of the Guntersville Wildcat Cheerleaders performing at a pep rally. As strange as this might sound, I could also feel the cheers of my friends and different classes cheering. I could hear Coach Lazenby, and Coach Pitts talk about the upcoming game. I remember cheering for my friends on the football team, Brett Smith and Chrunn Williamson as they came to give some inspiring words to the crowd. I could the cheerleaders singing "My Homes at GHS", which was a take off from the Alabama hit, "My Homes in Alabama." It was a great time. One of the cheerleaders made a huge difference in my high school career and as I watched our cheerleaders practice I could not stop thinking about her and our friendship.

Her name was Mollie. She was a beautiful young lady in many ways and she was my friend. She was one of the nicest people I have ever known. She cared for everyone and I never heard her have a harsh word about anyone. Most high school girls were involved in some kind of drama at some point in their high school careers, she was never involved and I never remember a time when someone had a problem with her. That says a lot about her, if you know the drama created by high school girls. She was popular yet humble, she liked to have fun without being destructive, she was smart, and she allowed me to go every where she went. She even allowed me to be her escort at homecoming. I would get dating advice from her and she would listen and laugh. I needed a lot of advice, I was not to successful in the dating department. Mollie and I were friends, she was my best friend.

I don't know if she is aware of the impact she made on me. She made be better, she made me feel good about who I was. I was a nerd and a lot of the times the joke at a party. I got a lot laughs and I even made fun of me. It was the best way to cover up my own insecurities. I think Mollie recognized this because she never made fun of me and she would always let me go almost every where she went. She made me feel important. She was so good that a lot times I felt like she needed me, when most of the time I needed her. There is no doubt that she has no idea how important she was, but isn't the best definition of caring for your friends. Doing it because you care rather than doing it because you want to be recognized for your work.

The lesson learned is we all have the chance to be that kind of friend to someone. No matter what we think we are impacting those around us. We have to take a good look at our motives and purpose for what we do. It can't be because we have to but because we want to. I don't why Mollie picked me, but I want to say "Thanks." I hope I can repay her someday, but knowing her she want expect repayment, because what she did is who she was. She was awesome.

Universal Soldier

As I was flipping channels this weekend, I got stuck on a movie called Universal Soldier. It starred Jean Claude Van Dame and Kurt Douglas. The premise was about creating soldiers that were indestructible. They were soldiers designed using the best parts of different people. They were fast, strong, smart, tactical, logical, and they could endure anything. It was a fascinating movie and I really got stuck on the premise of creating the best by taking the best parts of other people. Is it possible to create a universal person? I think we have the opportunity to create the best person possible by stealing the best parts from other people. Let me explain.
We all are given talents and gifts, and those cannot be duplicated. We cannot change our physical beings very much. In other words, if my jumping ability is a 3, then the most I could improve would be to a 5 or 6. I can steal the developmental tricks of the best jumpers but without their gift I will probably never be able to jump like them. However when it comes to those things that do not directly relate to talent, then we can steal from the very best. For example, I do not handle stressful situations very well, but my friend is an ace at it, so I watch and learn how to be better and emulate my friend in stressful situations. How I handle certain things is not necessarily a gift or talent, some of it is learning and emulating those who handle those things the best. If you are a 3 when it comes to communication with others, then I think you can become a 10, if you learn from those that are 10’s. The key is to find those that are great at the things you want to improve on and then watch them and try to mimic what they do and how they do it. I think you can become the universal person.
I want to be a universal person. I think Paul was a universal person and I think Timothy spent time learning from Paul how to be universal as well. If I could take the best parts from people, then here are the ones I would choose: I want the gentle spirit and patience of every elementary teacher; the caring and authentic personality of Doc Farrar; the servant attitude of Coach Hawley; the wisdom of Dr. Lacey; the vision of Mr. Glenn; the humility and humbleness of Charlie Ward; the loyalty of Mrs. Sandahl; the communication skills of Mr. Farris; the work ethic of the Ramirezs’ and the ability to love like God. The good news is I am with most of these people almost every day, which means I get to learn from them and make myself the best person I can be. I have the opportunity to be with God every second of everyday, so even if I never get great at the others qualities I can be great at loving others as God loves me.

Finding Balance

We are into our third week of school, and most everybody is settling in to a routine. I am also settling into my routine. Routines are good for me; it gives direction for the day. The problem is trying to find balance in all the things that I want to accomplish in a day. I have real trouble deciding how to divide my time so as to give all the things I want and need to accomplish in day equal time and effort. I am starting to believe there is no such thing as true balance. If they made a play about my life there would be about 5 different roles that needed to be filled; athletic director, teacher, coach, father, and husband. I do I give them all equal time, and equal effort?
Is there balance? I even find it funny that when I start to feel that one area is getting too much time and attention (off balance); I will stop what I am doing to over compensate for the area being neglected. (off balance). About a year ago, I had real trouble playing all the daily roles and feeling fulfilled at the end of the day. It felt a lot like my favorite movie-Cool Hand Luke- I was digging a hole to later find out that I was putting the dirt on the wardens ground, which I had to put back into the hole. It was frustrating and on top of it all I was concerned about my own spiritual well being. I cannot find time to accomplish all the task others were putting in front of me, how would I ever find time for God? Through the summer I think I came back to center-I found a way to get the dirt out of the hole and keep it off the wardens ground all at the same time.
My biggest concern was where God is going to fit in my daily life. I found that I could commune with God my actually doing by daily work. As the athletic director, coach, and teacher, I severed others, I taught children, I cared and I loved. As the husband, and father I got to pray with my family, serve my wife and kids, go to church together, and worship together. I found that God was in all these things. I realized I was missing God because I was not looking. Once I started looking for Him in my daily activities; He was there and had been there all the time. I finally realized by playing my roles, I was actually getting closer to Him, because I was doing in love. Love for Him and for those I was around. I was keeping the two most important commandments. I was also found as I was looking for Him in all I did, balance became easier. I wasn’t working any harder or even accomplishing more, the spirit of what I was doing changed. I found balance. I realized there were only two things I needed to balance: Love God with all my heart, and love my neighbor as I love myself.

To My Mom.

I enjoy watching both my mother-in-law and my wife interact with my two children. My wife is a great mother. I have said before that is something that is both natural and learned. I think about again as tomorrow is special day in history. It is the day my mother was born. I am very thankful for my mother for obvious reasons; without her there would be no me; but it goes much deeper than that.
My mom was the cornerstone of my family. She was the most consistent, most dependable, most predictable, and the most loyal. She picked us up, dropped us off, fed us, clothed us, tucked us in, read us books, took us to church and worked a full time job. She never complained, never whined, was never late, and never called in sick. She was patient, kind, caring, compassionate, understanding, forgiving, and disciplined. She taught us lessons both in words and by her example. She always encouraged us to do our best and was always pleased when we did no matter the outcome. I love my mom.
My mom was special. She was the best mom in the whole wide world. I am because I had a mom and dad that cared for me more than anything in the world. I believe that the closest I could ever get to understanding God’s love for us is in the example my mom set for my sisters and me. God loves us unconditionally, despite the mistakes, the shortcomings, and hang-ups. My mom loves me unconditionally. All the things my mom did for me and my sisters was not because that was her job or what she was required to do but it was because she understood love and how to give it unconditionally. You hear soon to be moms and young moms say that it is hard because there is no directions manual to raising kids. I disagree; the Bible serves as a pretty good manual and the most important lesson to learn is the power of unconditional love. That doesn’t mean it will not be hard, but if you love unconditionally usually the hard parts are short lived.
Happy birthday mom. Thanks and I love you very much.

Teaching is a Gift

Teaching has allowed me a lot of really cool things. I get a chance to be in school-I loved school. I get a chance to interact with kids-I loved being a kid. I get a chance to educate-I loved to learn. I get a chance to be an example-I loved my mentors. I get a chance to make an impact on the future-I love learning an improving the past. Because of all these things comes an awesome responsibility. I love the responsibility, it can be hard to handle at times, but I stay the course because I want to impact others the way others impacted me.
This summer I really learned the awesome responsibility associated with teaching. As I have shared I went to Poland to teach basketball camp. I taught 17-23 year olds the game of basketball as I knew it. I was there exactly ten days and regardless of what I did for ten days, I had a return flight to America. I literally could have done nothing; I was going home and they probably will never see me again. I chose to do something different-I took it has an even greater responsibility. I had to teach because they might not ever see me again. I would not have been able to live with myself if I didn’t give them all I had. Even as I boarded the plan to return; I thought of things I forgot to tell them.
The responsibility to teach could not have more evident than when I walked into the gym the first day and met Dorata. She was 30 minutes early for the first practice. I thought to myself, by the end of the week she will be so tired there is no way she will come early to practice. I even made it a mission to wear her out and make her use her free time for rest. She won that battle. She stayed in the gym, she never left, and she was a sponge. The only time she left the gym was to eat. I had to learn more about her. Dorata was 22 years old, she is the daughter of Christian preacher in Poland, and she does not play organized basketball. I was stunned. She was at camp to get better, learn and because she loved basketball. I was stunned. She is the type of student I want to teach. She wants to work hard to just be better. Most kids have a motive- to play more, to score more, to be the star. She just wants to be better. She worked harder, spent more time in the gym than anyone in camp. People like Dorata make teachers accountable and responsible. She was the epitome of a sponge. I even found out later she kept a notebook the whole time, and wrote down every word I said. All the kids in camp play on a team and their motive for learning was different than Dorata’s. Dorata got better that week, and I became a better teacher.
Teaching is a gift. It is a responsibility. I have a responsibility to teach because there are a lot of Doratas’ out there who do things because they just want to learn. I hope I never miss an opportunity to teach and share. Who was the master teacher? Jesus was the master teacher and he never wasted an opportunity to make people better.